Coming Home by Annabel Kantaria

Author:Annabel Kantaria [Kantaria, Annabel]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781474024969
Publisher: MIRA
Published: 2015-06-27T16:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER 47

I didn’t consciously decide to go and see Zoe: I woke in the wee hours, absolutely sure of the fact that I had to. I’ve no memory what I was dreaming about, no idea why the thought came to mind, no clue why it woke me, but it did. My eyes snapped open and I lay rigid in bed, my muscles still paralysed with sleep, arms by my sides, and I knew with every fibre of my being that I had to see her again.

And, as soon as I knew it, I wondered why I hadn’t thought of it before. I’d thought that the phone call—hearing her voice knowing that Dad had fathered a child with her—would have been enough. I’d wanted her to know that I knew; that she no longer had one up on me, a secret over me. But it hadn’t been enough. The curiosity demons inside me weren’t sated; now I knew who she was, they wanted to see this woman properly; to look at her, to talk to her, to try to see what Dad had seen in her. I hadn’t taken in a lot when I’d seen her outside the church. Did she get dimples when she smiled? What did her laugh sound like? What exactly was it about her that had snared my father all those years ago? Had she loved Dad? Had she seriously expected him to leave Mum?

But how could I see her? Zoe was, after all, the ‘other’ woman—the woman with whom Dad had betrayed Mum. It was seedier than anything I’d ever imagined would happen in our family, and to make any sort of contact with her made me feel like I, too, was betraying Mum.

I re-plumped the pillow and sighed. To plan a meeting seemed too deceitful. I would drive down to her house. I would park outside and I would look at the house in which my half-brother had grown up. And then I would knock at the door and take my chances. If it was meant to be, she’d be in. Happy with my decision, I fell into the deep sleep of the decided.

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